New

What is this new feeling?
I've already established that I feel
Differently about you than anyone else.
But what is this?
Now there's something else.

I know you're not mine,
I never said you were.
So why should I get this protective feeling
When I see her flirting with you?

She's supposed to be my best friend
And she doesn't feel the way I do about you
And she doesn't even know I feel this way about you;
She'd hate me if I told her.
So why is she all over you?
When she "doesn't even like you"?

And why do I feel this new thing?
What is it?
Jealousy?
I have no right to feel that;
You're not mine, you never will be.

But it kills me inside
To see you getting closer to her
And me just standing to the side
While you stare right through me
And do nothing about her being all over you
Even though you should.
And just when I thought you were getting closest to me
She goes and pulls you away again,
As always.

I never imagined I could feel jealousy,
Especially not over you.
And I can't even voice it
I just watch with sad eyes and you don't even notice.
I try to make my stomach unclench
And the rage go away.

I hate this new feeling,
I don't understand it.
Why do I feel so jealous?
The explanation my mind and heart give me
I don't want to hear.
I try to block out their whispers.