.anesthetic.
She dragged the blade across her wrist,
waiting to feel alive.
Tears fell down and mixed with the blood
as she began to cry.
The only way she knew to escape
was through the pain she felt.
She needed it, this numbing solution,
the pain that caused all feeling to melt.
She stared at the razor then glared at her bleeding wrist.
I'm so tired, she thought, of living like this.
But it was her only getaway from the world so cold.
She would never be loved, or so she'd been told
By the devil's lies, but she swore it was true.
Not even her family would say, “I love you.”
Self-inflicting wounds
was the only comfort she knew.
She was all alone,
And no one would ever know
this terrible secret; it's not like they cared;
why else was no one there?
She waited for the blood to stop flowing;
She didn't want to die.
This addiction was just a way to feel alive,
it was even worth all the lies.
Her skin turned paler as the blood continued to gush.
She was frozen and staring as she realized what was happening.
She didn't mean to make herself bleed out so much.
She began to grow cold as she slowly lost life.
The bitter tears surged as she once again started to cry.
“I want to change,” she told herself.
”I don't want to need to cut myself.”
But she didn't know how; she'd been bound for so long,
And once you're addicted it's so hard to stop.
“Oh God!” she cried out as her breathing grew quick.
“God, save me, my broken heart needs to be fixed.
”I've avoided you for way too long.
”Your way is right; I was wrong.
“All I want is to feel loved
”And not alone;
”I know I can't do this on my own!
“I've tried everything under the sun,
”But nothing has worked; I still feel empty
”My heart aches for something, but I don't know what.
”So maybe, just maybe, it's you and your Son.”
The sobs came more frequently
and not at all quietly.
”Jesus, forgive me
”Take it away.
“Suicide was my last resort
”But now I'm asking you to be what cutting was not.”
She threw the blade down and continued to weep
As she finally felt Love wrap its strong arms around her.
“You are not alone, child,” she heard True Love say.
“You never have been and you are not to this day.”
She realized that every word of this was true.
“I'm so sorry,” she cried
For the umpteenth time.
”I don't see how you could love me.
”I'm the lowest of low
”I don't even know
”What love's like.
“I've just known pain for so long.
And the sin, oh the sin, has been there all along.
“For You, the Perfect One to love me seems so wrong.
”Surely you do not know all I have done?
”Or you would not be so quick to give me your love.
“It's not just the cutting, there's other stuff too.
“All the secret sin I've hidden from You.”
Suddenly she began to feel something new
as she looked at her wrists and all the scars there
And she realized with chagrin
That at first she hadn't cared.
But now, not only was she scared,
She was ashamed to be calling out to God like this:
On the ground, crying, cutting herself.
“Turn away!” she wailed, distraught over her sin.
“I am mortified by the monster I have been!
“I can't let anyone see me;
”My shame is too much!
”Least of all You who is so high above
”And utterly blameless, the one spotless lamb
”Who has never had to be tuned out because of His sin.”
“Dear one,” Love replied, “do not be ashamed.
“I was mortified for you
“The day that I died.
”I took all your shame with me
”When I went to the Cross.
”Along with your sin-it is now all gone.
“Don't you see, precious child,
”That I do love you-
“So much in fact that I died on a cross.
”So that you wouldn't be ashamed
”And you wouldn't be to blame.
“I came as a man that I might feel your pain.
”And I know what it's like to feel human and helpless.
”I have felt what it's like to be betrayed
”By ones you love.
“But all these years I've held your hand.
”I was that small glowing light as you walked through the dark.
”My arms were always open for you
”But there you would stand
”Just out of reach from this comforting friend.
”An arms length away, I waited for you.
“'I will never leave you nor forsake you',
”Remember this.
”Every time you cried I cried along with you;
”I felt the same pain as you as you slit your wrists.
“Seeing you suffering breaks my heart
“Much more than your pain breaks yours.”
And she finally felt Comfort wrap its arms around her
As for the first time she heard, “I love you.”
She smiled as her tears turned to joy
And she thought she could hear angel's heavenly noise
As Comfort continued to speak to her heart.
“Now that you've finally run to my arms
”I can be the father to you that yours was not;
”I can make you feel alive more than cutting ever did;
”I can make you feel without being sore;
”I bled for you on the cross
”So you have to bleed no more.”
Then Peace kept surrounding her.
Peace, Comfort, and Love's words rang true.
She would not have to hurt
Or inflict pain upon herself.
Nobody'd said it would be easy to stop;
without His help it surely would not.
But she knew He was always by her side
And now she could hardly hear the devil's lies.
“You're not good enough.”
“It would be better to die.”
”You're a failure, you're alone.”
“Slit your wrists one more time.”
But how could she listen to that when she'd heard the Truth?
”You are good enough.”
”You are my child.”
”You will do great things, you are not alone.”
”When you feel like slitting your wrists, just cry to me aloud.
”And I can help you overcome. ‘You can do all things
'Through Christ who strengthens you.'”
She remembered that verse; it helped her get by
When her “friends” would tell her,
”Give it one more try.”
”Just look up bad things this one time.”
Or, “Listen to vulgar music again-no one will know.
”Plus it's cooler.”
And when she said no,
They'd persecute her, tell her, “Then leave us alone!
”We don't like you now,
”You were better before
”When you'd listen to the devil attack you through us.
”And also when you used to cuss.”
It was these times she suddenly felt all alone again
And she'd cry out to God again and again.
”Help me be strong and do what You say,
“And help me to love them day after day.
”Even if they hate me for following You
”Help me to love them with Your love that is true.
“I remember when your own friends went against You
”In your time of greatest need,
”Now that's what mine are doing to me.
”So I know you understand what I'm going through.
”You've been there before.
”God I really need you.”
And so he helped her through every day.
She found this out, and so can you:
You don't need porn and sex to please you.
You don't need drugs-the high doesn't last
But God gives a high that is everlasting.
You don't need music that is sordid-
There's plenty that's not,
But will still give your ears the same blast.
And you don't need to cut yourself to numb the pain inside.
There is one anesthetic that does that; all you'll ever need:
The Trinity:
The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit.
God is the only thing that can fill your empty heart.
Let this poem give your faith a start.
You say, “I'm happy living this way.
”I'll change my life tomorrow but not today.”
Tomorrow is too late!
You are missing out on the best thing ever!
And you never know which day's your last
but you don't have to be haunted by the things of your past.
But if you choose not to have your past taken away
You will regret that day
You had the choice but you let it slip through your fingers
And when the fire consumes and you're with the Beast
You will wish that you had cried out like her.
But by then it's too late; God can't take Hell's hurt.
You'll cry out and say, “Give me one more chance!”
But True Love will reply, “You had your chance!
”I was waiting all along but you never complied
”And now you want to be saved after you've died?!”
Or perhaps you will get left behind.
Whatever your sin, whatever your shame
Nothing's too big for God;
He took it away when He died on the tree
and rose on the third day.
And whatever your addiction he can pull you through;
Remember: Jesus was human once too,
Fully man and fully God.
He knows exactly what you're going through.
His arms are open as He says, “No fear!
”I am with you always, I am always near.
”I died so that you wouldn't have to;
”I made a way where there was no way
”Just for you,
”So that you wouldn't die and suffer in Hell,
”But that you may have life
”And live with me as well
Forever in Eternity.”
waiting to feel alive.
Tears fell down and mixed with the blood
as she began to cry.
The only way she knew to escape
was through the pain she felt.
She needed it, this numbing solution,
the pain that caused all feeling to melt.
She stared at the razor then glared at her bleeding wrist.
I'm so tired, she thought, of living like this.
But it was her only getaway from the world so cold.
She would never be loved, or so she'd been told
By the devil's lies, but she swore it was true.
Not even her family would say, “I love you.”
Self-inflicting wounds
was the only comfort she knew.
She was all alone,
And no one would ever know
this terrible secret; it's not like they cared;
why else was no one there?
She waited for the blood to stop flowing;
She didn't want to die.
This addiction was just a way to feel alive,
it was even worth all the lies.
Her skin turned paler as the blood continued to gush.
She was frozen and staring as she realized what was happening.
She didn't mean to make herself bleed out so much.
She began to grow cold as she slowly lost life.
The bitter tears surged as she once again started to cry.
“I want to change,” she told herself.
”I don't want to need to cut myself.”
But she didn't know how; she'd been bound for so long,
And once you're addicted it's so hard to stop.
“Oh God!” she cried out as her breathing grew quick.
“God, save me, my broken heart needs to be fixed.
”I've avoided you for way too long.
”Your way is right; I was wrong.
“All I want is to feel loved
”And not alone;
”I know I can't do this on my own!
“I've tried everything under the sun,
”But nothing has worked; I still feel empty
”My heart aches for something, but I don't know what.
”So maybe, just maybe, it's you and your Son.”
The sobs came more frequently
and not at all quietly.
”Jesus, forgive me
”Take it away.
“Suicide was my last resort
”But now I'm asking you to be what cutting was not.”
She threw the blade down and continued to weep
As she finally felt Love wrap its strong arms around her.
“You are not alone, child,” she heard True Love say.
“You never have been and you are not to this day.”
She realized that every word of this was true.
“I'm so sorry,” she cried
For the umpteenth time.
”I don't see how you could love me.
”I'm the lowest of low
”I don't even know
”What love's like.
“I've just known pain for so long.
And the sin, oh the sin, has been there all along.
“For You, the Perfect One to love me seems so wrong.
”Surely you do not know all I have done?
”Or you would not be so quick to give me your love.
“It's not just the cutting, there's other stuff too.
“All the secret sin I've hidden from You.”
Suddenly she began to feel something new
as she looked at her wrists and all the scars there
And she realized with chagrin
That at first she hadn't cared.
But now, not only was she scared,
She was ashamed to be calling out to God like this:
On the ground, crying, cutting herself.
“Turn away!” she wailed, distraught over her sin.
“I am mortified by the monster I have been!
“I can't let anyone see me;
”My shame is too much!
”Least of all You who is so high above
”And utterly blameless, the one spotless lamb
”Who has never had to be tuned out because of His sin.”
“Dear one,” Love replied, “do not be ashamed.
“I was mortified for you
“The day that I died.
”I took all your shame with me
”When I went to the Cross.
”Along with your sin-it is now all gone.
“Don't you see, precious child,
”That I do love you-
“So much in fact that I died on a cross.
”So that you wouldn't be ashamed
”And you wouldn't be to blame.
“I came as a man that I might feel your pain.
”And I know what it's like to feel human and helpless.
”I have felt what it's like to be betrayed
”By ones you love.
“But all these years I've held your hand.
”I was that small glowing light as you walked through the dark.
”My arms were always open for you
”But there you would stand
”Just out of reach from this comforting friend.
”An arms length away, I waited for you.
“'I will never leave you nor forsake you',
”Remember this.
”Every time you cried I cried along with you;
”I felt the same pain as you as you slit your wrists.
“Seeing you suffering breaks my heart
“Much more than your pain breaks yours.”
And she finally felt Comfort wrap its arms around her
As for the first time she heard, “I love you.”
She smiled as her tears turned to joy
And she thought she could hear angel's heavenly noise
As Comfort continued to speak to her heart.
“Now that you've finally run to my arms
”I can be the father to you that yours was not;
”I can make you feel alive more than cutting ever did;
”I can make you feel without being sore;
”I bled for you on the cross
”So you have to bleed no more.”
Then Peace kept surrounding her.
Peace, Comfort, and Love's words rang true.
She would not have to hurt
Or inflict pain upon herself.
Nobody'd said it would be easy to stop;
without His help it surely would not.
But she knew He was always by her side
And now she could hardly hear the devil's lies.
“You're not good enough.”
“It would be better to die.”
”You're a failure, you're alone.”
“Slit your wrists one more time.”
But how could she listen to that when she'd heard the Truth?
”You are good enough.”
”You are my child.”
”You will do great things, you are not alone.”
”When you feel like slitting your wrists, just cry to me aloud.
”And I can help you overcome. ‘You can do all things
'Through Christ who strengthens you.'”
She remembered that verse; it helped her get by
When her “friends” would tell her,
”Give it one more try.”
”Just look up bad things this one time.”
Or, “Listen to vulgar music again-no one will know.
”Plus it's cooler.”
And when she said no,
They'd persecute her, tell her, “Then leave us alone!
”We don't like you now,
”You were better before
”When you'd listen to the devil attack you through us.
”And also when you used to cuss.”
It was these times she suddenly felt all alone again
And she'd cry out to God again and again.
”Help me be strong and do what You say,
“And help me to love them day after day.
”Even if they hate me for following You
”Help me to love them with Your love that is true.
“I remember when your own friends went against You
”In your time of greatest need,
”Now that's what mine are doing to me.
”So I know you understand what I'm going through.
”You've been there before.
”God I really need you.”
And so he helped her through every day.
She found this out, and so can you:
You don't need porn and sex to please you.
You don't need drugs-the high doesn't last
But God gives a high that is everlasting.
You don't need music that is sordid-
There's plenty that's not,
But will still give your ears the same blast.
And you don't need to cut yourself to numb the pain inside.
There is one anesthetic that does that; all you'll ever need:
The Trinity:
The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit.
God is the only thing that can fill your empty heart.
Let this poem give your faith a start.
You say, “I'm happy living this way.
”I'll change my life tomorrow but not today.”
Tomorrow is too late!
You are missing out on the best thing ever!
And you never know which day's your last
but you don't have to be haunted by the things of your past.
But if you choose not to have your past taken away
You will regret that day
You had the choice but you let it slip through your fingers
And when the fire consumes and you're with the Beast
You will wish that you had cried out like her.
But by then it's too late; God can't take Hell's hurt.
You'll cry out and say, “Give me one more chance!”
But True Love will reply, “You had your chance!
”I was waiting all along but you never complied
”And now you want to be saved after you've died?!”
Or perhaps you will get left behind.
Whatever your sin, whatever your shame
Nothing's too big for God;
He took it away when He died on the tree
and rose on the third day.
And whatever your addiction he can pull you through;
Remember: Jesus was human once too,
Fully man and fully God.
He knows exactly what you're going through.
His arms are open as He says, “No fear!
”I am with you always, I am always near.
”I died so that you wouldn't have to;
”I made a way where there was no way
”Just for you,
”So that you wouldn't die and suffer in Hell,
”But that you may have life
”And live with me as well
Forever in Eternity.”