I Wish I Were Dead

I can feel the waves crashing over my head,
Dragged into the silent darkness of the deep.

I am blinded as glaring lights engulf my vision,
A car careening towards me.

I hear the sharp sound of a gunshot,
Pain racking my body.

I can taste the acrid filth I drink as poison slides down my throat,
Its effects already seeping to the surface

I can smell the smoke, choking, fire engulfing the walls around me
Lungs searching for that last bit of air

I stand in the hospital, wishing for those fates
I am too cowardly to face the roughest pain I could ever face

It leaves my skin unbroken, the flesh still seamlessly strung together
But as I stand and hear the faint, extended tone of the heart monitor,
I wish it was me lying in that bed, no more pain to feel

Because my heart has been ripped to shreds, the worst pain ever felt
Shes gone, never laughing, talking, even being there
Her existance has faded, shes gone

I wish it were me in that room, my heart's collapse literal and not a cliche metaphor
I wish it were me
I wish I was dead