I Tried So Hard

I've tried so hard;
And don't see why;
But I've always failed;
My hearts so torn;
And fragile;
I don't see how;
I can take another heartbreak;
Another loss;
Another love;
Another close friend;
Another family member;
And have them all taken from me;
Everything I devote myself too;
Everything I want and cherish;
Slowly fades from my grasp;
Another punishment from God's wrath;
If there is truly something like that at all;
All my hopes fade and replace with fear;
I have tried so hard;
To keep myself up off the ground;
To show no fear or pain;
To the one's around me;
But I'm slowly failing;
At pretending to be okay...