when i get where i'm going
Must I suffer for my own mistakes and theirs
I've lived in fear for so long
So alone in what I feel
I shut it all away so no one can hear it
Yet they abandon me
They stain me and they turn away from me
All I needed......it was never there
I fall once before and I'm still falling
But I close my eyes so I won't see it when I hit the floor
it's not my choice to hate
But it's all that is left to be felt
Maybe I'm that bad
Maybe I deserve nothing good
And only god knows what my heart is like because I don't know it on my own
I sure hope he can see deep pass these eyes that have been filled with rage for so long
Hope he can see the good in me that is being kept bound
I swear I have a tear for every story I can tell
Thought I was the one who knew myself well
I smile
Cause it's all I can do that seems to hide
Me
And everything inside me
I dance it makes me feel alive when everything around me is dead
I sing
For it says more than just mere speech can
I write for these lines can tell a thousand words better than my mouth can
I try so hard to keep the hurt inside
Nothing takes more strength than this
But am I to pay for my sins
Crimes committed against life
Is it enuff to have to save yourself?
But it's even harder when you have to save yourself from you
I spend every waking moment trying
hoping I could change into someone that I can recognize
and why is it must I feel all alone in despair when I sleep
Closing eyes so drained and tired
I fear they won't open again
And maybe it would be what I want this time
Maybe I'll let them shut once and for all
Would anyone miss me?
Would they know I'm gone?
How long must this hurt prolong
I'm traumatized
My mind and it's thoughts have been battered
and I'm an empty shell
Yet not to make a sound
And when I die I'll die peaceful in my own misery
I'm that perfect imperfection they always said I'd be
I always believed them
But in my heart somewhere that's not who I'm meant to be
I'm more than that
But that I will never know
I've lived all I could
And I've burdened more than I should
I'll lay my burdens to rest
And remove this heavy heart from upon this weakened chest
And as the rain falls
It's the only comfort I know
Somewhere up where they are falling from
Someone knows where I've been
He knows what it's like to be me
In a world filled with people like vouchers
Constantly attacking me
And my body pains me
Every ounce of strength in me is wasting away
I fall to my knees
I can feel it everywhere
But when I get where I'm going
there will be only happy tears
I'll shed myself of all this weight I've carried all these years
and on my long journey from where I've been
I'll bury me on that path
To remind me of how far I've came
The roads I lead to where I am
I've turn a new page on the sad
I won't suffocate on my struggles
I'll learn to breathe then deep within
and when I get just where I'm going
I'll know I finally made it here
I've lived in fear for so long
So alone in what I feel
I shut it all away so no one can hear it
Yet they abandon me
They stain me and they turn away from me
All I needed......it was never there
I fall once before and I'm still falling
But I close my eyes so I won't see it when I hit the floor
it's not my choice to hate
But it's all that is left to be felt
Maybe I'm that bad
Maybe I deserve nothing good
And only god knows what my heart is like because I don't know it on my own
I sure hope he can see deep pass these eyes that have been filled with rage for so long
Hope he can see the good in me that is being kept bound
I swear I have a tear for every story I can tell
Thought I was the one who knew myself well
I smile
Cause it's all I can do that seems to hide
Me
And everything inside me
I dance it makes me feel alive when everything around me is dead
I sing
For it says more than just mere speech can
I write for these lines can tell a thousand words better than my mouth can
I try so hard to keep the hurt inside
Nothing takes more strength than this
But am I to pay for my sins
Crimes committed against life
Is it enuff to have to save yourself?
But it's even harder when you have to save yourself from you
I spend every waking moment trying
hoping I could change into someone that I can recognize
and why is it must I feel all alone in despair when I sleep
Closing eyes so drained and tired
I fear they won't open again
And maybe it would be what I want this time
Maybe I'll let them shut once and for all
Would anyone miss me?
Would they know I'm gone?
How long must this hurt prolong
I'm traumatized
My mind and it's thoughts have been battered
and I'm an empty shell
Yet not to make a sound
And when I die I'll die peaceful in my own misery
I'm that perfect imperfection they always said I'd be
I always believed them
But in my heart somewhere that's not who I'm meant to be
I'm more than that
But that I will never know
I've lived all I could
And I've burdened more than I should
I'll lay my burdens to rest
And remove this heavy heart from upon this weakened chest
And as the rain falls
It's the only comfort I know
Somewhere up where they are falling from
Someone knows where I've been
He knows what it's like to be me
In a world filled with people like vouchers
Constantly attacking me
And my body pains me
Every ounce of strength in me is wasting away
I fall to my knees
I can feel it everywhere
But when I get where I'm going
there will be only happy tears
I'll shed myself of all this weight I've carried all these years
and on my long journey from where I've been
I'll bury me on that path
To remind me of how far I've came
The roads I lead to where I am
I've turn a new page on the sad
I won't suffocate on my struggles
I'll learn to breathe then deep within
and when I get just where I'm going
I'll know I finally made it here