1447 Miles To Breathe

My shoes are untied
and I cannot bend down to tie them
because I fear my heart has grown so large
that it just gets in the way.
Also, if I think about it,
it’s not really worth it
because they’ll unravel again when I
take a step
because every step I take
unravels me.
I miss you.
Have I already said that?
I’m sorry,
I know it has been a long time.
I was lost
because you left me there
with my head in my hands
on the side of the road.
I had to hitch-hike to get back.
No, I don’t expect you to
feel bad
although it would be nice.
Why did you leave me?
There was enough fuel to get us both home.
I understand that you had to, though,
because sometimes we just can’t be
in the same place.
But now we are
in the same place.
I see your hands shaking
like mine when you held them
and I want to take them
and hold them still
so that maybe we can both
just calm down.
But you won’t let me touch your bare skin
because you’re 1447 miles away
and my arms aren’t long enough.
I’m stretched too thin.
I wish I could reach through stars.
I think I could get to you, then.
Can you remember my name?
Come and find me,
take me away from this place
where you are not
and then we can both
just calm down.
For a little while we could breathe.
Now the smoke is everywhere
and there is no air anymore.
Now the smoke is everywhere
and I cannot see your blue eyes.
Now the smoke is everywhere
and I think I’m drowning.
Now take me
and put me on your shoulders
so that I can breathe clean air.
You were always so strong…