Will I Lose Another Loved One....

I thought things would get better but for some reason they're not.
Now she rather not tell me something I'm scared to know.
Why do I feel like she's slwoly slipping away from me?
She doesn't say anything about it, but then why does my heart say she'll never stay?
Maybe I wasn't meant to be with loved ones, maybe I should be punished for even trying.
If she goes now, I can never belive in love again. I've tried to many times, only getting tears and left in the darkness at the end. What will I do if she leaves. I'll kill myself, I can't take much more of this. My whole life being used and not being able to love. Now its slowly coming back but each time a loved one leaves me after I get closer after that tiny spark in me starts to glow. Why do they leave me when I'm starting to feel? Are they afriad of me too?
I don't want to be left alone, please stay with me. Please take my hand and never let go.
I don't want to be used anymore, I want to feel again, I want to feel loved again.
Please, don't leave me, you're all I have left!