Secret

Hands shaking
Heart racing
Head pounding
I walk to your door
I knock
This is the scariest thing I've ever done
Worse than when mom and dad found out about those things I did
Worse than when I regretted those things I said
Because now,
It's all on the line
I can barely breathe as I wait
How many seconds has it been?
Five? Ten?
Maybe if I turn away now, I can forget this idea
I'll tell you in a few years
But then you open the door
and I stand there gaping like a fish
Before I say it all
It spills from my mouth
Like rain pouring down
and part of me wants to take it back
I imagine myself
Grasping the edges of the words
Like smoke they slip away
and the only thing left to do
Is wait for you to react
But instead I whisper, "Secret's out."
Before I turn to leave
Face smiling,
Adrenaline rushing through my veins
Even if tomorrow you hate me,
I can't bring myself to regret this.
I did it.