I love you, Goodbye

My prince,
My protector,
My one true love.
You were always by my side,
Through the bad and good times.
I thought we would be together until the very end,
But you proved me wrong,
And ended us just as quickly as we began....

Even though It's been nearly 6 months
I still feel the sting like it was just yesterday.
You promised me you would always love me,
You promised you would always be here when I need you,
You swore you would never let anything ever hurt me,
You promised me you would keep me safe and protect me,
Was it all just a lie?

You still say you love me, and I still believe you,
But, your never here anymore when I need you most,
Instead you just ignore me, when I tell you I need you.
Even though you promised you wouldn't let anything hurt me,
I am hurt, by myself every day, the scars are proof enough.
You promised to protect me, but
I never feel safe and protected,
But rather I feel haunted and stalked.

J.,
I love you so very much,
More than anyone ever could.
Though I try to get you off my mind,
I just cant seem to do it.
No matter what I do,
I always see something that reminds me of you.
I miss the way you held me,
I miss the way you kiss me,
I miss the way you talk to me,
I miss everything.
From the tip of you beautiful head,
All the way down to your toes.
I miss your eyes,
Your lips,
Your voice,
Your arms,
Your hands.
Everything.

But it's all gone now.
Never to come back.
You ignore me everyday.
You never call me anymore.
You make me feel so unwanted,
So unloved.
I hate myself everyday, and blame myself.
If I were a better person,
You would have never had to leave.

I'm sorry My love,
But you broke some promises to me,
So I broke one I made to you...
I didn't mean to I swear......
I just couldn't handle the pain anymore....
It was the only way to stop the pain in my heart and in my head.
I know you won't see it like I do,
But,
It makes me feel better.
It gives me power,
It shows me I have control of my life.
Once the blood starts flowing from the cuts.
I feel relief.
For a moment I feel like a weight has been lifted.
Then the physical pain takes place of the mental.
It hurts so much, but
It's nothing compared to the pain I put you through.
I know I can endure it.
It is just a matter of how long till I end it.

Please, my love,
Don't be mad,
I had no choice you see.
So many promises you made to me,
You broke nearly all of them,
It's only fair I should be allowed to break just one.
But now my love I hate to say,
With out you in my life,
Everything is dull and grey.
So I say good-bye to you now.
I will take this blade and let the blood pour,
All the while thinking of only my love for you.
Thinking of all the times we had together,
Of all the laughs and all the smiles,
All the hugs and all the kisses,
Thinking of the way you sang to me while I slept on your chest,
Of the way you looked at me like the most important person ever,
I'll smile as I die, and think about all the sweet things you said,
The way you called me your little kitty, and your sweet little fairy.

Everything is growing so cold now, my love....
The pain is taking over,
Threatening to drive my thoughts of you out,
And make me focus my final moments on only the searing pain.
I won't give in though.
My thoughts will scream your name until I am dead.

I remember that day at the beach,
Oh the fun we had.
You chased me out so very far,
And made me swim back in.
When I refused,
You scooped me up in your arms and kissed me into submission.
Oh how I will miss that so very very much.

It's getting harder to think now,
Everything is going black,
And growing colder still.
Is it strange that while my body is cold as Ice,
My heart feels all warm and fuzzy?
I can't think anymore now my love,
But,
In these final moments I have one more thing to think of you.

I love you so very very much.
My prince,
My protector,
My one true love.
Oh how I wish you were here by my side.
I said I would love you until the day I died,
I'm sorry but I lied.
I will continue to love you even after death.
For true love,
Never,
Ever,
Dies.

I love you,
Goodbye.

~♥~