No Resolve

In my head I count backward many times
Reliving those days you'd slipped my mind
Until I stumble back into that place I'd rather not find
Into those clutches our memories had confined
I know I've done this on purpose
But suddenly it's all I can take
Choking myself with this sense of emotion
And all those wonderful times we would create
Embedded in my mind
Like how now all I can do is find myself screaming your name
And it's too late for me to stop and really think
Too late to go back once I've accepted this fate
How no matter how many times I take the pills
Your image is perminant in my own little world
Prodominant when I'm trying to sleep
Conflicting with my dreams versus reality
I'd do anything to break my ways
But it's so hard when every time I close my eyes I see your face
And I know you're never gonna understand
Even if I came running to you, you'd just turn your head
Because you've been so gone for so long
And I've gotta grow and be strong
I've gotta find something else instead of burying myself in this wrong
But when I try so hard, my disipline tends to find no resolve
I'm thrown off balance and tip toward rock bottom
Finding myself wondering how much longer till I'll completely fall
Just like those years I spent curled in your arms
Obsessed with your warmth
Telling myself theres nothing that could go wrong
Now look at the girl who gave you her all.