Flashbacks.

You try so hard to shut the feelings out,
The fear.
You struggle to forget,
And struggle to cope.
Every time you end up with tears,
Crushed dreams.
Painful remnants of horrifying, tortured past.

Broken glass,
Stained blades surrounding you.
Darkness fills every lighted, empty corner.
You lose yourself in the memories,
And flashbacks.
Until the walls collapse.
The ceiling turns a grayscale, colorless tone.

Your mind is bruised,
The same scarring words.
The same ruthless, haunting remarks.
Ugly. Disgusting. Fat. Freak. Useless. Unwanted.
Nobody will ever love you. You will never have a boyfriend. I hope you die.

A light above you dims, along with your hope.
Whoever you imagined by your side disappears.
A tear is frozen on your cheek.
Crystal pain, against a pale, porcelain face.

You're lost in this pain, aren't you?
You feel hopeless,
Helpless,
Your tears mean nothing.
Your screams aren't heard.

There's no one by you now.
There never was.
You're alone,
In a painful reality.
Walking through, petrified to wake.

When you open your eyes,
The tears aren't frozen anymore,
Your head hurts.
Every limb feels torn.
You're scared.
Are you going to be hurt again?
You ask yourself out of fear.

It's happened so many times before.
You've grown accustomed,
You're alone in this empty cell,
Praying that when you shut your eyes,
The memories leave.

Then, comes the numbness.
You don't cry anymore,
You realize,
You're safe.
You're going to be okay.

You try to reassure yourself, over and over.
Until you realize,
And tell yourself,

“It's only a bad memory.”

But that's not true,
They return,
Tracing, running through your mind.
Like fire ants,
As they sting you relentlessly.
Incarcerated into a torn, broken life.