I just feel like there’s
two worlds
I’m not apart of that our yours.
and i live so close to you,
see you more than anyone else.
it feels so


I’m almost 25.
I don’t want to date
someone who still acts like a
and won’t sleep at an
apartment down the block
on the days he doesn’t

open your mouth.
or I could stop opening mine.



I don’t really think
about fucking any other
person or people
but I do think about
fucking other people.

what happened?

the first night we met I blew you on a
park bench.

now it’s ten minutes


and ten minutes
on my stomach

where you’ll either come
and I’ll run to the bathroom
to clean it off and make some
off-color joke
about how you never come in my
just inside me.

or else I’ll get sore or you’ll get tired
and I’ll jerk you off for just a little bit
and then
I’ll just play with your balls, which I can do in my sleep,
(but shhhhh)
and you’ll come and I’ll swallow.

and you’ll probably fall asleep
after picking some tv show to watch
that I don’t like.


you hold me.
you kiss me.
you tell me how beautiful I am.
you feel bad when you fuck up.
(but why do you keep fucking up?)
you watch Disney movies with me
and let me cry without freaking out.
we never fight and you always ask me if something’s wrong.

I just want to be
but I can’t bring myself to tell you how
I really am.

I love you too much.


all I can think about is how much
I love you
and how much I want to
have a family.
I’m older than you and
I want it more than
I want you.
I don’t know if you can be
The One
who can do that for mee.
and I don’t want to trap you,
don’t want to rick you,
don’t want to get stuck and
be thirty and single.

I’m scared.


tick tock tick tock
biological clock bomb drop.

I would never skip my pill.
don’t worry.


I can’t have kids
until I’m no longer
dating one.