Should Have Said.

There are so many things that I should have told her.

Time and space aren't always reliable.
It would take more than ten seconds
to get her home,
from either end of the path.
She knew of the dangers, faced them
with more courage than me,
but I still downplayed them,
needing a companion,
a friend.

I should have told her.

About the war. About the daleks.
Maybe then I wouldn't have killed her.
She's still alive.
But I still killed her,
sentenced her to die
behind that steel door.
It was luck that saved her.
Luck and a dalek's compassion.

I should have told her.

About my face.
My ears weren't always like this,
and I used to have long hair.
The leather jacket is something I found
and I still have the scarf in the wardrobe.
I hope I can explain it
before before it happens -
I don't want her to watch, but I fear
my new self won't
understand her confusion.

I should have told her.

About the danger of paradoxes,
about how one normal man
can change everything.
But I never could say no to her.
Even if it meant the end.

But most of all, I should have told her.

About my feelings; not just
beautiful for a human, but
more beautiful than anything since the TARDIS.
And I could have danced with her for
hours on end, through the stars
and around the planets,
showed her my moves and
learnt all of hers.

-

But I never told her any of it.

And now I fear it's too late.

-

She lies there beside the console,
free from the vortex that was
bound to her.
No longer Bad Wolf, just
normal Rose Tyler,
who risked her life to save me.

It was a good death,
I tell myself as my hand begins
to glow, and I can almost believe it.
I just wished
I had more time.

I should have told her many things
and I failed every time -
a coward even now.

Good luck to the new me;
I hope he tells her everything.
♠ ♠ ♠
Based on the Doctor Who episode 'The Parting of the Ways'.