That cute fat Girl

You think that playing Eminem makes you bad-ass
You think you're tough just because you arrive all stoned for class

But listen Jonas, hear me Ari, watch it, all of you,
I would not bat a fucking eyelash to cook your asses in a stew

When I was eleven, I lead my gang mates to war
Only ten years later, don't mind you calling me a whore

Cuz when you're lost in Japan, almost drowned down in the sea
You'll be crying for your mommy, but guess when that was me?

By the time I was crying, my ass was jailed in Istanbul
Cuz being hungover and on PMS ain't fucking cool

When a stewardess on Turkish Airlines gives you attitude
And you're fucked up from losing a friend and cloudy altitude

Three days they locked me up, no food and water that was stale
Deported off to Germany, I arrived bleeding and pale

No fucking care, no tampons, not even a goddamn shower
But not a cry escaped me until the very last fucking hour

You take your silly MySpace pics when angsty you gets bored?
I walk down to the Gaza Strip when rockets hit Ashdod

It's not because you come at me, five Arab piece-o-shits,
That I'll twitch like Chris Crockery, scared out my fucking wits

I'll grab you from behind and shove my finger down your eye
Go ask the blind Moroccan fucker if I'm telling you a lie

And once I was so lovesick that I went down to the store
Bought chlorine and some ammonia to kill that son 'f a whore

Cuz I'm a Jew, I fucking know how to end people with gas
And being a sneaky skank like me, just gives me a plus

Bitch please! I planned it perfectly, to gank Jonas in his bed
But then, I used it all, you see, cause I had to clean up really bad!

The only time that I dropped arms, I took a fistful shit
A hundred-fifty sleeping pills, and hoping that was it

And first thing in the morning I woke up in ICU,
Flushed a miscarried baby down the psych ward's fucking loo

So all you sheltered little bitches with your heads up your unfucked anus,
You may just have found Narnia hiding from your fucking gayness

Fo sho that I am full of temper, I need it to survive
Cuz when life throws this much shit at you, you need a steady drive

And did I tell you that I once did business espionage,
I did it hiding in plain sight, no fucking camouflage

They want my fat ass all over Islamo-Belgium now!
Cuz I don't just out-run my bills, I know right fucking how!

You think I went to Israel just for the cozy weather?
The repossessions were about to put my life on tether!

Cuz sometimes it simply ain't enough to suck another dick
Ain't no poetic justice in life like in some Hollywood flick

Smuggle shit I also did, like, kittens via air
Try lying to security the way only I would dare

And if you thought that was just luck, I did it twice again
Two-hundred illegal amphibian eggs in bottles on a plane

Before you get your hopes up and think I'll take you asskissers for minions
Know that I will drag you with me into a crowd of raving Palestinians

There's good damn reasons why I think the army might just need me
I can stop to feel and stop to think if I feel that I should end thee

You sit at home, you pray to God, but where is he when he's needed?
Six million Jews can testify – when life fucks you, so does God, my warning fucking heeded?

So write this down, here comes the load, you fuck me, I will climax
By fucking you right back so hard, that more than just your ass cracks

So piss on you, you sit at home, and bitching you're alone
To wash your clothes, cook your own food, and with no pissing wife to bone

And fuck you too, for thinking that it's hard to get through college
I walked across three countries with my legs a sodding carnage

You sheltered fag-ass little dumbshits don't know what hardship is
I guarantee it's not seducing college sluts to kiss

Can't break my heart so full of cracks I had to put some cement
Piss on my turf, you better run the day your blood's been summoned

It ain't because I cuddle kittens and collect cute shit at home
That I can't get on Bucephalus and burn down fucking Rome