It's so Simple to Put on a Fake Smile

It's so simple to put on a fake smile,
One that doesn't have to last too long,
To hide your emotions,
To be more than you are.

It's so hard when you get home,
To not cry out in pain,
To scream in rage,
Or try to cut away the hate,

Too much to hide,
No words to explain,
Building a wall between us,
Suffering through this everlasting pain.

They wonder why my eyes are so dark,
Why I fall asleep in class,
Why I no longer give a godforsaken damn,
And how I've changed.

This pain that's been inflicted is deep set,
I almost welcome it now,
I simply won't tell anyone,
I confide to paper and poems.

I feel unwelcome now,
Almost as if I don't belong,
Lost in a conversation,
Dazed from that last sentence.

Did you do this to me?
If you did end this damn curse,
It's driving me mad,
I wonder when my scars will heal.

I never learn,
I know you just bring pain,
But all I do is think of you,
And the feel of your lovelorn lips.

I think of a couple of happy times,
But they always followed disdain,
I wonder why we like to hurt so much,
Is it because now you won't talk?

When you leave I miss you so much,
Yet when I see you I want to run and scream,
Then I want to throw myself in your arms,
And then back up and go in endless dreams.

It's so simple to put on a fake smile,
To hide all things from everyone,
Lie about everything,
Do all the wrong things.

It's just so easy to pretend things are okay.