Some Days I Remember

Some days I remember

Some days I remember what it was like to be different.
To be filled with joy and not take anyone's crap. My life was some fully filled out map.
No one could tell me what to do or run my heart.

I was a unique girl filled with dreams and wishes determined to make my own way.
One who kept strong, and the bad boys at bay.
But somewhere along the run I screwed up and let one in.
Now my perfect unique life was just a once had been.

I fell into a love struck trap that burned away my independent mind.
My eyes were covered by a teenage girl vision, of love that made me blind.
He twisted my dreams and wishes to match his own.
My blindness happened so fast I never realized my ignorance had grown.

He Turned me into a submissive toy.
He sucked everything out of me including my joy.
I just let it happen all because of something I had never felt.
The way he use to talk to me and hold me made me feel as if my heart was so warm it would melt.

But that was all a ploy to catch me on the hook so I was caught.
I forgot all the guarding and protecting myself I had been taught.
Nothing I had prepared for was anything like the way it turned out to be.
Being so submissive just wasn't me.

He made me feel like a worthless whore.
That I was nothing like the girl he use to adore.
I gave that guy everything I had and he still wanted to complain.
Always saying I was a annoying pain.

Dealing with it became natural because I believed it to be true.
Your honesty was all of you I knew.

But I'm back. I'm free.
I broke out of your prison where you held me.
My difference, religion and mind you so disliked.
You can go suck it and be filled with spite.

Because I am done being addicted to the feeling you once gave.
You can be pissed and take that emotion to your grave.

You turned everything on me and made me think I deserved to die.
If I was so worthless then why?
Why did you stay?
Oh wait you left giving me the its not you its me speech hurting me like every other guy.
Then when I cried you said I was being selfish when it was all one big lie.

Because I remember all the amazing times we had and the reasons I loved you to death.
No matter how much bad times we had, every single moment with you felt like my last breath.
So amazing yet so sad..

Because the end would make me so mad.
I meant it when I said I loved you and I always will. But you hurt me enough to kill.
You left so I will heal.
But my pain is all too real....

Some days I remember what it was like to be different.
To be filled with joy and not take anyone's crap. My life was some fully filled out map.
No one could tell me what to do or run my heart.

But then I remember the days I spend by you side. I also remember how much I cried.
I would never take back the time I had with you though.
I loved every moment of it even if it is time to go.
So I will grow back into the person I truly am.
It will never be a I remember who I once use to be.
Everyone will be able to see.

Now...
Some days I remember what it was like to love you.
To be filled with joy and see you smile. My life was one with yours for a while.
No one could change my mind or make me leave.
I love what we were but that is the passed.
We did not last.
......
Some days I remember.