Not Okay

“Yes, I’m alright.” I’ll laugh to you,
Then mechanically look down.
Behind the smile are so many tears,
It’s a wonder that I don’t drown.

“I promise.” I’ll say through smiling teeth,
If you ask me a second time.
Oh friend, can you hear through my voice,
And recognize the lies?

“Whatcha think of French?” I’ll divert,
Pretending I don’t feel alone.
Hoping that you can’t see,
This hell my thoughts call home.

Then I’ll feign interest in your answer,
As I plan how to keep you at bay.
Yes, somehow, you won’t learn,
That I’m really not okay.