0N3 T!M3

One time I farted
It was as loud as could be
One time I sharted
When I was upside down in a tree
One time I laughed
And almost pissed my pants
One time my vagina
Was filled with ants
One time I had to lactate
So I squirted those who walked by
One time I bled through my pants
And squirted out a beautiful red dye
One time I ran out of toilet paper
And nearly cried
One time I got pushed in an oven
And died. x__x