Just a Memory

I waged war for too long,
Controlling and loving from afar,
You were in love, and so was I -
But the thought of you made me question
Why couldn’t it be you and me?
I scribbled loveletters in your journals,
slipped poems into your pockets,
stole a smile with every chance,
The beating of my dreaming heart caused your name to fall from my lips,
I began to think of you with every kiss
Finally, you caught me as I spilled my guts all over the stage,
And though he was with you, I stayed unafraid -
You chuckled and smiled so beautifully,
handing me the journal of the songs you wrote to me
Sometimes I wish I had the chance
To more than hold your hand that night we perched on the hood of my car,
When I had you sing to me
I wish we more than spoke,
And I wish I didn’t turn my cheek.
I wish you weren’t just a memory
I wish I hadn’t driven you away, though you were never the one for me;
for you and he were meant to be
But after the call from the hospital,
I turned tail and ran
to the last place you held my hand
Where I bled shamelessly,
Wondering if I could have a second chance, if you’d once again fall for me.