Dream Dust

I stand here, you know
I stand here, still
Still as a tree
Well, as still as I can
Study and hard to fall
You’re the one who uprooted me
My toes were pulled up from the dirt
By your hands and they came around me
They took me to your home
It’s dark and cloudy
I like it, a lot
We would shed there
Our hopes and dreams
We cast them on the floor
They clustered there into
Colonies and towns
Places we would see
The kisses we shared
They were hope
They were of strumming guitar stings
Singing vocal cords
Yet, they were only kisses
They led to other things
Open, vulnerable hearts
I purposefully held yours as you did mine
Did my grim hurt?
Cause yours didn’t.
Then, I tried to escape.
I’m the forest
A tree, remember?
But now, since I’m free
I have to be something else
Well, I want to be
I want to run
Find my way through the dark
Sunrise is so far away
And so is the sunset
It’s tomorrow, as far as it will always be
I snuck out the window and back
Into the woods
The snow is lustful
It held me so
I changed.
Breasts and callouses formed
My hair grew
My eyes turned to gem
I am a new creature
Yet, I snuck back in
You didn’t notice
Even though I sinned
Just beneath your nose
You just held me closer
My heart strings shrunk
You held me close
So close, I could hardly walk
My beast-self tamed
I became paper.
I curled up in bed with you
Every night.
I gave myself to you
Trusting it’s all right
But, we stepped on our dreams
The two of us together
They crushed like bugs
Their exoskeleton cracking so easily
The mush we cleaned was their guts
We picked them up and you stuffed them
In my skin
I became plump and round
My skin split
I wanted to change
I looked at my heart
This was late at night.
We had finished
Yet my heart still sat in your grasp
You slept there,
Your dreams
Like the ones in my skin
I bent over and retched
I dry heaved and puked
Then all of our dreams fell
They feel from my mouth
My skin flapped, loose
I was scared
The vile bubbled and revealed a gem
Thinking you would be angry
I pushed it under you
I escaped again
I took my heart and ran.
My skin shrank
My hair grew back.
I’m a beast again.
The snow touched me. Again.
Though it is stained with urine and dirt
It’s beautiful
It touched me so nicely
You didn’t let me back in.
You cracked the gem. I know you did.
Your temper flared
Like a match striking hot
You threw a hammer
It left a dent, a long crack
A few ghosts of our dreams
Leaked out like a tiny trickle
A steam from the pot about to boil
I saw it behind you
The hammer in your grasp
You brandished it over my head
I skittered away
I indulged in the snow
An ice beast emerged and beckoned me
I came
It tempted me to happiness
Another home deep in the forest
Yet you came back
You took me and my fur feel away
“Come inside,” you said. “It’s freezing,”
The gem was gone.
I knew you destroyed it.
Yet you still took handcuffs
And took me
My heart started to scar
We shook the house
Peeling the paint from the wall
Bad words, cheap words
Insults that merely scrape our surface
Another night, I took my bindings
I chewed them away
I cracked my tooth
I slipped out
The snow had melted, only a bit remained
The sun rose and you found me.
This time, you didn’t smile
When you tried to take me
I bit you
The blood fell and touched the snow
Now making it distasteful
I ran
I ran
I ran
We are no longer
Yet I have dreams
You take out a box and pull out the gem
You cradle it at night
You kiss it like me.
I want a gem, too
Yet if I take it
You’ll fall apart
Seam by seam
So, I leave you to the dark
Maybe the stars will be your pleasure
Like the snow is mine.