I hate you and you don't know how much

I hate you and you don't know how much
Cause you only care when you are drunk
and it's as fake as the smile you make me wear
to mask the pain that's secretly there
and I'm tired of this and I can't remember
the last time I felt safe
because I'm drowning
and screaming and I'm too scared to ask
for help that I don't deserve
to save the pain I mask
so put the bottle down
and drop the blades
and take your last drag
and think of the souls we'll save
because I can't pretend everything is okay
and I can't let you see how bad
things are
If I can't even see it myself