Hope and Discovery

It's black in my room
The colours are all turned down
Just listen to the poetry
It pours out my eyes
Black in pools in my vision
I'm lost in my self-serving position
I'll lead you away from hope and discovery
Just take this walk with me

We'll keep on drawing on the past
Let it nail us here to the ground
I'm completely ridiculous and losing
But of that at least I'm proud

I'm losing at being myself
Because it's all been done before
And it's not what the world is waiting for anymore
I can't find an original thought in my body
It's all highly processed
Strands of disease
They're highly contagious
Incurable
But always endurable

In the back of my mind
I feel bad
For acting like this
And making myself out to be selfish

My ego is much larger than people think
I hide my heart and thoughts away
I'll keep on going for another day
Covering up
For another day
Self-importance in me really
Is much smaller than I make it out to be
Because I like people to think
I'm on top of the world
Because on top of the world they can't hurt me

Then I've somehow realised
Through older greyer eyes
That it's all down to how naked I feel
So I try to cover it up
And destroy all doubt
With my longwinded prose
And imitation passion
My heart of gold demeanor

Just lately I've come to realise
I'm not such a mystery
Even to myself