Banishing..but not for long

Once. That’s all it took,
Was once.
And it had me.
That craving,
That addiction,
That feel of the blade.
Like a monster,
Lurking and smirking
Luring me in.

When it touched me
All the anger,
The hurt,
The confusion,
Emptied out of my veins.
Like a dam breaking,
Sending the water away.

When the blood, so red
Poured down my pale arm,
All I felt was relief.
No sense of alarm
It was a beautiful thing,
Like watching a waterfall
Tumble and fall so free.

It gave me relief of the thoughts,
Spinning round in my head.
The thoughts that had been,
Making me want to be dead.
Like demons, tearing
And ripping
And pulling me in two

Thank God that it’s over,
Thank god I’m alive.
I have so much to live for,
And the will to survive.
A new dawn,
Banished the night,
And allowed me to see,
What had gave me such fright.