Ode to all things cute and cuddly

They march in columns,
They march in rows.
Look so cuddly,
All totally gross.
With beady eyes,
And huggable arms.
They lure you in,
With their dastardly charms.

Gumdrops and rainbows,
And hugs galore.
So sugary and sweet,
Leave you wanting more.
You buy their lunchboxes,
And their backpacks.
You buy their underwear,
And their fruity snacks.

Everyone listen to me,
I found our answer.
So we can finallly cure,
This dreadful cancer.
We can burn them in oil,
Or tear them to shreds.
Even just so simply,
We chop off their heads.
Or we can do this,
Gentlemen and Ladies.
We bend them over,
To stuff up M 80's
And blow them,
Up so high!
Death to Teddy Bears,
They all must die!