Why?

Why does seeing these things sting so much?
Why does it matter
I know I'm not there.
I know I can't help.

So why?
Why do my eyes sting with tears?
Why does my heart burn with jealous envy?
Jealousy is wrong.
I tell myself it's their happiness,
That is what matters.

Why then?
Why do I wish I was the one they trusted most?
Why do I wish to be one they talk about?
Am I wrong for being jealous?
Am I wrong for the envy in my heart?

Why is it?
Why is it I don't feel this way about anyone else?
Why doesn't my heart soar with anyone else?
Am I wrong for even writing this?
But I hurt, I wish to rid myself of the pain.

Here I am, unraveling shallow feelings.
Feelings that shouldn't be.
Happiness is what they feel.
I said it would be enough...
So why isn't it?