Winter of the lonely

On a clear winter morning when the sun has not yet risen,
I get out of bed and go to my window.
In the dim blue-grey light of the early hours,
I see the snow covering the ground,
Drowning the last blades of summer grass.
I think of you.

I had no autumn to prepare for the day you would leave.
Summer with its bright, carefree days was suddenly overshadowed
By a cold, dark winter
In which no one would hold me close
As you had.

Now you’re gone and no summer will be as before.
Every day will be winter,
Filled with loud silence and cold stillness.
Gone.
The word runs in my head.
You’re gone
You’re gone gone gone gone gone

You’re not coming back.

Sometimes I try to tell myself that you are.

That tomorrow I’ll see your face again
Greeting me with that smile I loved
And a kiss

I tell myself you are just away
Coming home soon
I write you letters
Tell myself you'll be
Reading them soon
But deep down
I know you wont

My floor is scattered with
Shreds of my love
Things I want you to know
Things I never said
Things you'll never read

I tear them up
No one can read them but you
You wouldn't have
Needed to anyway
You knew me better
Then I knew myself

Did you know I would feel this way?
Did you know how it would destroy me
From the inside out?

Knowing we will never hold eachother
Under a sky of angry lightning
Laughing as we became drenched
In the torrents of rain
Laughing because we knew
We'd always be together

So young and innocent
We didn't know how cruel life could be...

Never again will I feel your arms about me,
Protecting me from everything,
Every evil and hate.

I feel
Incomplete
So lost
So empty
As I watch the grey sky
Thinking of you.