Twihards Can Die Hard

Chapter One
First Bite

While driving towards Forks in my dad's huge police hummer
We hit a stay dog, which was quite a big bummer
My first day in this town was turning out bad
But as I stared down at this dog, I swear I went mad

He was as big as a truck with eyes like lanterns
And swimming behind them was pale white phantoms
But quick as a flash my dad had his shot gun in hand
And in that mutt's head he left his death brand

I let out a shrill peep and my hand went to my mouth
As the giant dog reared up, in shadows we were doused
But quick as a flash he disappeared in the woods
But from the look in those eyes, he was NOT gone for good

As I got back in the hummer I looked at my arm
Without my noticing, the mutt had done me harm
Big rounded puncture wounds were a horrible sight
I knew that this was just the first bite

Chapter Two
Inflammation

The next day I was walking down the silent street
Up my arm the infection did seep
The bite wound had not gotten any less inflamed
My head was a mess, I felt quite insane

Then all of a sudden I saw a pale outline
Of a man seemingly not of the human kind
He was upon me in a flash, his smile quite bright
And for some reason I knew this was my second bite

Instead of sparkling in the sun, like one might think
He turned a horrid purple and in my neck his fangs did sink
But for some strange reason it turned me on
But that's just me, sick ol' Bella Swan

Chapter Three
Hide and Eeek

As I lay in bed quite a few weeks later
I noticed some changes in my normal behaviour
My diet changed from Pop-Tarts to raw meat
From cereal and orange juice to human flesh and feet

Not knowing the cause (though it should've been obvious)
I got in my truck and rushed to the doctors
But what I didn't know was that he was one of Them
One of the dark purple, blood draining men

So when I arrived at the emergency room
I could smell rotting flesh and taste the festered doom
But soon enough his mouth was at my neck
He sniffed for a minute...but wait a sec..

"You are not human!" he cried in distain
"You are a filthy half bred vampayne!"
He hissed at me, but there was fear in his eyes
And suddenly from my chest I let out a great cry

With a flourish I ripped of his head
I bounced it on my feet, I ripped it to shreds
Now to play a game with al the other freaks
Come out! Come out! It's Hide or EEEK!

Epilogue
A Celebration

As I stood atop a mound of corpses
I let out a howl, which was almost remorseful
But really it wasn't.  I felt quite happy
To go eat people when ever I felt cranky

I was so sick of that goody two shoe vampire shit
So I ripped them all up and I got rid of it
Now no one well mess with me, I'm number one
The only vampayne, Miss Bella Swan