Dear 13 year old me...

Dear my 13 year old self
first things first - by hurting yourself your also hurting everyone else
so the next thing 18 year old me is going to say,
is: put down the blade.

Little girl your dressed all in black
I know your unable to see forward and unable to look back
Your stuck in a nightmare
So nothing seems right and nothing seems fair
So you run away in your dreams
(And that is something that will never change it seems!)
and that's OK; cause by being a dreamer
you will one day become a believer

Now little girl look through that make up
see all the people begging to help
cause even though you feel that you are walking all alone
you are NEVER on your own

Very soon there is going to come a day
when you will give yourself over to pain
If that day hadn't happened maybe the girl writing this would not be as strong
But I still want to let you know: LIFE is where you belong.

Now cause your 13 I should probably say:
forgive Chloe for what you were fighting about today
she has a mask just like you
and she is going through some heavy stuff too.

You have moved on from Stover now little one
but moving on was anything but fun
Last year you missed it so much you could feel your heart bleed
I know right now you find that hard to believe.
Though you have made some AMAZING new friends
you're even wearing colour again!

Thought I should mention that before I tell you
Things will get tough again in a year or two
But please, just remember mum loves you.

I know that you can't see a future right now
But that really doesn't mean it's time for your closing bow.

So! A few last words of wisdom before I leave:
There is so much that you will achieve,
Never be afraid of asking for help,
Whatever happens always believe in yourself,
Actually study for your exams,
write down the story of your magical land,
Always keep your chin up,
And for Gods sake tune down the make up!
Try to smile even when you are sad,
Take a deep breath and count to 10 when you are mad,
DON'T kiss Finn at a party next year,
Learn to embrace all of your fears,
And when it feels like the end and you just want to scream...

Remember, you're still around to write this letter to you when you're 18.