I'll Make It Easy

I've been in the light for as ling as I can remember.
I've escaped many times from reality to a place I like to call;
endorphin's.
Yes.
The selfish deed could leave me desensitized.
But when you teeter on the boarder of numbness and heart wrenching, throat clenching pain,
the decision between the two becomes unclear.
Would it really matter if all your feelings were taken away, replaced with a soothing numbness?
You'd sure be living safe.
But would you ever truly live?
There are points in life when stakes are so high,
you'd choose the numb before the pain.
But if that numbness was irreversible,
there will become a point where you see the emotions you once knew among the faces of passing strangers.
And you want them.
Love.
Hate.
Passion.
Fear.
Happiness.
And even,
yes,
even the pain.

I've died everyday waiting for you.
And when you finally came around,
I let you go.
And now you're leaving me running in tight circles.
And once I am tired,
I'll move onto something else,
or I'll give up.
And I will leave a note on the place where we used to meet.
You'll come looking for me and you'll hear a shot in the distance.
And maybe you'll look for me,
but maybe you won't.
And if you happen to care enough to find me,
It'll be much to late.
The slick ebony object will be laid gently in the palm of my soft ivory fingers.
And the skin above my glazed over blue pools,
will be stained scarlet.
And you'll fall to your knees,
because you know,
I was just trying to make life easier for you.
And all though I have none anymore,
for the first time in my life,
the blackness,
the numbing,
is no longer for an hour or so,
it is for an eternity.