Close to Ashes

Thousand memories that run through my head,
Feeling close to ashes,
Being scared of losing my sanity,
Seeking for freedom underneath my eyelids;
Feeling lost, alone, scared,
Not really thinking things carefully.
Missing my precious childhood,
The golden times,
Eating pancakes at my grandma’s house,
Seeing her smile at jokes,
Watching her learn,
Hearing her sing,
Feeling at ease when Mom came from work;
Regretting I was too young to appreciate her,
But hating that the innocence is gone;
Maybe that’s why I was so happy.
I knew less,
I laughed and did more,
I enjoyed everything with admiration.
I miss my mom’s laughter,
Playing with my brother;
I’d like to go back,
To where the memories became reality,
And to where I didn’t want to start all over again.