You're Just not for Me

If you were to converse with me,
What could I tell you?
Thoughts of movies and music
and books fill my mind
but no matter how much I try
To verbalize they won't materialize.

I listen to you talk with your friends
you talk about movies, music,
and books that you've read
on a level I feel I can never reach.
What you say is in a way that is to me
a high art refined. It doesn't work with me.

You see when I talk I can't be intimate.
We don't share a connection at all
its just me a-dreaming about a better life
When I'm on the in and not wandering outside.
I want to belong, I want to be with you and your friends.
Its my fervent dream to be by you.

When I think of you its a wish and not just a fantasy.
I what to know what makes you glow.
What makes you this attractive to me?
I see you all the time with some other girl
and I think of how lucky she is and that I'd give the world
to know what its like to belong and to have someone who's mine.

You see when I think its not of 'hanging out'.
Its reading a book and discussing out loud.
Its watching a movie and discussing it in the car.
I'm not an idle chit-chat so I don't know how you get at
all of those topics and your friends talk about.
Please tell me how you do it, how you just open up and let
your heart flow out in your words.

You see when I talk I can't be intimate.
We don't share a connection at all
its just me a-dreaming about a better life
When I'm on the in and not wandering on the outside.
I want to belong, I want to be with you and your friends.
Its what I've been dreaming about forever.

When I talk to you its not of memories that we share
because the only times I've been with you is in class.
We're never together alone or among others.
Should that really matter, I'm to young to care
If a there's a boy for me out there right now;
So I'll retreat to my books until I'm ready.

I'll keep my dreams to myself,
you belong to somebody else.
Its not my right to claim what isn't mine.
You are a beautiful, unattainable dream
A mirage on the desert sand for me.
You are real for someone else, just not for me.