My Fair Lady

For hours and hours I waited
While that pale lady concentrated
Her face surveying the mirror across her face
As she applied her make-up in every precise place

For what seemed like forever I stood
Waiting for her to get into the mood
To finally rise from her pestilent throne in the washroom
But at every glimpse of hope, or so I would assume

It would be all for naught
As another imperfection would be caught
Forcing our fine lady to peruse her flawless figure once more
As she had been doing a considerable amount before

As I waited longer and longer for her to arise
What she was doing in there I could only surmise
For her actions within were kept under lock and key
As if she held untold riches in there that only she could see

And finally when our fine lady finally arose
It was too good to be true I suppose
As she furled her brow
In which I could not beg to ask “what now?”

She ran to her closet for a considerable amount of time
Mixing and matching clothes like a poet does with rhyme
Until her fair complexion was matched by a pallid dress
Soon as it did seem that I was clear of this mess,

Did another ordeal arise with her footwear
Oh dare I say that I no longer could care
As I too lay upon the ground in shock
My eyes ventured toward the ticking clock

Hours had passed since we were due to appear
As the minutes grew, so did my fear
Could our host have accounted for such a crisis
Oh, and what would become of his avis

Would he truly believe my absence stemmed from my beautiful lady
Such a justification would have no reason not to end badly
My mind raced with such endless possibilities
Would my host forgive me for my tiresome infidelities?

As longer the seconds elapsed—as did my once unwavering patience
My lady had discovered footwear so outsized that I wondered how she would balance
But all of my worries aside, we were set to embark to our destination
Or so I thought, but another object caught my lady’s fascination

By this point in time, I had grown ever so wise
As my lady wandered toward a set of rings arranged by shape and size
Upon our cabinet of various potpourris
Oh curse you, damned marquise

Why now do you reveal yourself when time has grown so valuable?
Why is it that now, of all times, you have grown bashful?
For you, something of such grace and virtue, to reveal yourself at this moment
When for hours before you had been so confoundedly absent

My lady began to run her finely trimmed nails over the various metals
Did she expect one to be greater than the other, when all were blatantly equals?
Every ring consisted of a golden hue matched only by its partner in succession
At this very moment, I had to question why she had all of these copies in her possession

It was not until the clock had moved its arms to an unfathomable hour
That I had hoped to arrive in a manner that would not leave the host sour
At this point, my lady’s blatant lack of care began to bloom
As she once again returned to her original position in the washroom

To do what? Another may ask.
I myself could not believe her task
As she removed her carrier of make-up from below
Oh I was unfathomably shaken, but little did I know

She removed a small container of crimson red lipstick from her sack
I must have been shaking like an animal ready to attack
As she placed herself once more upon her chair
Oh, no. Oh, no. She would not dare!

She unscrewed the cap as gently as she would to a child
On the inside, I was about ready to go wild
And gently placed the stick upon her pale lips
As she, not once, not twice, but thrice—she created an ellipse

She puckered her lips once, then twice
As she placed the cap upon the infernal device
She then removed herself from the seat upon which she made her throne
Slowly she paced herself toward me, as I stood in the doorway alone

A sly grin had been forming upon her face
As she slowed her steps to a rather infuriating pace
She could tell that I was growing restless by the second
And finally, when it seemed our departure had beckoned

She altered her steps just enough to the next room
Which at this time, I knew no longer what to assume
Could she be removing the nails concealed by her footwear?
Or was she coloring her eyes in an attempt to grow ever more fair

As I stepped into the room adjacent
For some reason I was hesitant
An indelible odor emanated from the chamber
From the moment I entered, I was engulfed in a vapor

For a moment I was able to clear my vision
Where I saw colorful bottles glaring at me in derision
As my lady selected various fragrances based on various characteristics
To me, it seemed as if she was deciding based on assorted gimmicks

Until my kind lady decided upon a lavender shade to place upon herself
She gently applied the odor to her skin and then placed it upon the shelf
Not an instant had passed when my beautiful lady ran to a mirror
To perhaps finally gain some sense of closure

She twirled once as if she were a child imitating a dancer
Out of my fear I refused to question her
At last, she began to stroll toward the doorway
Within my mind, I remarked that I never believed that I would see this day

Together we walked hands clasped toward our automobile
My mind could not believe that this was actually real
That we had finally exited the domicile that imprisoned be for so long
As I walked toward my vehicle, I felt as if something was wrong

I froze in dread as I rummaged through my pockets
No, no. Everything was there—even the entrance ticket,
Until finally I realized my horror that would now be,
The horrific fact that—within my home, I had forgotten my key