Spilling it all out.

I have had a bunch of problems recently,
And I want to write about them,
Since they are recently increasing in frequency,
and it seems that in pain, forever I'm condemned.
I've had to deal with my mom divorcing twice,
I resorted to cutting, drinking, and smoking.
And yet, afterwards the pain increases thrice.
And the drugs became my king.
All I've wanted for a long time is to feel loved,
Not even much, but more than partially!
And any my beloved...
They throw me away harshly.
Leaving me feeling like an empty husk,
And I've spent a long time filling that void,
But it seems that my life is an eternal dusk,
Never quite fixed, but never destroyed.
I'm a balance of imbalance,
A fluctuation in normal life,
In my life, there is an absence,
And continually I'm reminded of my strife.
Although I don't have it the worst,
There are things in me that increase the pain.
And hurt so much, I am fit to burst!
It seems from my pain, everyone has gain.
I haven't written in a while, so this isn't really good,
But writing is helping me cope with it,
And I'd not write it if things went the way they should,
But honestly, all of this makes me feel like shit.