Why?

what am I to you?
But a distant memory; drowned potential woes that you cannot understand.
What was I to you?
Thats all I ask,
All that crosses my mind and digs at my gut.
A cry like ophelia no matter how pathetic to you or others that may hear;
Is all that shakes my bones and pulls on my heart.
I try. I stop. Take a breath.
But its always laced with feelings that make me reminise.
The sorrow falls from the height that I placed you,
From the height that you held me,
And crashes to the ground with a fateful kiss.
A kiss so sweet that my lips rot.
And a taste so bitter that it clings to the back of my throat.
But no matter how unbearable the ache on my body that is is yours for the taking,
No matter how ill my cheeks look.
Ill always long for your bittersweet embrace
To make me feel alive,
No matter how much I try to deny it.