Drown in the Deep

Let me tell you a little story in the form of a dream
It's a little complicated but I hope you know what it means
Close your eyes and just picture the scene
As I paint it for you:

It was in the middle of the night when I woke up in pain
Sitting in my bed cold, dark and lonely, just listening to the rain
And every droplet that splashed and clashed against my window pane
Sent a shock wave through my mind with visions of misery
Knowing the day I die there's no one left to be missing me
I've spent most of my life trapped inside a shell
I was too afraid to stand because of all the times that I fell
But who in their right mind could after being through hell?
So as I searched for the light I wandered in the dark
Hoping that one day I could come across a spark
Something to help my demon within just ignite
A monster unafraid to stand, unafraid to fight

That's when a clap of thunder brought me to my senses
Back to the reality where the nightmares are relentless
The dreams are gone and so are my defenses
Back to being chained down and trapped inside the fences
Where I'm left to crack and shatter like a glass falling to the floor
Left with broken pieces and nothing more
With one last flash of lightning I try to fall back asleep
But though my eyes grow heavy I can only lay there and weep
No use stopping and trying to count the sheep
With one last word I close my eyes and wait to drown in the deep

"Why. . ."