Change
How would you feel if you were overweight from age five?
If you dieted from when you were age six to now,
Exercising until you fell exhausted at age nine?
How would you feel if your childhood was taken away from you?
I've always been the mature one.
I never really liked sleepovers,
I never really liked hanging out with friends.
I still don't.
Sometimes I wondered what it would be like to feel pretty
Not scary.
And I'm sorry if I have changed
But I think I deserve to feel beautiful.
I've never been so overweight that it was hard to handle
But looking back in photos?
Yes, it would be nice to see a little bone
And I could've done without the verbal abuse
And honestly, another reason why I went dark
Is because I would rather have people make fun of me for dark clothes
Than my weight
I know that I've always appreciated the darker side, but it's the icing on the cake
Now, I long for skirts
I long for shorts that show off a bit of leg
I want my chest to stand out more
Yes, I've changed
If you truly love me, you can accept that
And if you do not want to accept that?
I have two childish words for you, my dear.
Fuck you.
If you dieted from when you were age six to now,
Exercising until you fell exhausted at age nine?
How would you feel if your childhood was taken away from you?
I've always been the mature one.
I never really liked sleepovers,
I never really liked hanging out with friends.
I still don't.
Sometimes I wondered what it would be like to feel pretty
Not scary.
And I'm sorry if I have changed
But I think I deserve to feel beautiful.
I've never been so overweight that it was hard to handle
But looking back in photos?
Yes, it would be nice to see a little bone
And I could've done without the verbal abuse
And honestly, another reason why I went dark
Is because I would rather have people make fun of me for dark clothes
Than my weight
I know that I've always appreciated the darker side, but it's the icing on the cake
Now, I long for skirts
I long for shorts that show off a bit of leg
I want my chest to stand out more
Yes, I've changed
If you truly love me, you can accept that
And if you do not want to accept that?
I have two childish words for you, my dear.
Fuck you.
♠ ♠ ♠
I was diagnosed with Metabolic syndrome when I was little. It's a combination of medical disorders that increase the risk of developing cardiovascular disease and diabetes. I've never really had a normal childhood. Mine consisted off going to get blood work done to figure out why I couldn't lose weight and kept gaining. (Insulin resistance. I was focusing just on calories when a big part was carbohydrates. Even now I still struggle, though.) It also consisted of constant exercise and dieting. But I'm sort of in a way glad. I think it made me the person I am today. Which is good. I've never been a couch potato or anything. It's just the disease. I'm still fighting it to stay fit. I'm healthy, not weight wise...but I do not overeat whatsoever. I'm not hungry that often. But even if I don't eat my weight still decreases much slower than others. So. It's very nerve racking. But I can do it. I'm a determined person c:
SO that explains the first part.
I used to be very dark and not very girly. and now. I'm trying to clear up all my skin, lose a ton of weight, and getting my braces off soon. Just want to feel beautiful for once in my life, you know? It's worth it. I already am...quite gorgeous. But I can make it even more so x3