Self-Centered

Please, when I'm crying, comfort me with your stories about how much worse your life is and how much meaner your friends are and how much more your family hates you and that it's really not all that bad because at least I'm not you

Please, when I'm broken, fix me with your recollections of past heartbreaks and miseries that you're completely over and really don't interest you anymore but, hey, anything for a friend

Please, when I'm happy, help me along with your comments and remind me how much happier I could be if I had your lover or your jewelry or your car that doesn't really even belong to you

Please, when I'm angry, calm me with your rage and hatred and insults to show me that I'm really not that stormy compared to how outraged you can get

Please, when I need you, give me nothing of care or concern but insist that I'm satisfied with your history as fuel for my forthcoming
Please, always manage to have a tale that's worse or better or somehow more important than mine and still manage to stay completely satisfied with your life and your "experiences"

If you could tear your eyes away from the mirror for a few seconds then maybe you would see me beside you

And it might be hard to tell through the haze of arrogance and egotism, but I promise that my face isn't even remotely similar to yours