My Cycle

Coming down,
Think and think,
My body hurts,
My eyes heavy,

I stare at the floor,
Wishing I could punch out the walls,
Stab my arm with the butcher knife,
And bleed and bleed,

Backed up against the wall,
Fists clenched,
Sweat dripping,
Heart beating loud and slow,

Fuck this life,
And who I am,
I amounted to this,
Horray for the anatomy of my brain,

Depression, anger, nervous,
Over and over,
Am I going mad,
Have all these years caught up to me,

I can't breathe,
My chest hurts,
I can't sleep,
I can't feel my forearms,

My new life is in my head,
Unable to obtain,
Grasp and hold onto,
Because life doesn't go my way,

It never has,
I'm waiting for this beautiful realization,
That will fix me and the way I'm living,
Nothing has and ever will happen,

My bones are withered,
My heart has holes all around it,
My eyes are dimly lit,
And my flesh is falling off bit by bit,

My tear ducts have shriveled up,
My veins are bulged up,
Blue and sickly,
My pores are opened up,

No help was given,
Nobody ever fucking cared,
While I bleed in my room alone and scared,
Everyone laughed and had a good time,

My cycle will repeat,
Until I'm dead,
In my grave,
Forgotten,

I will never find release,
I will never find warmness and love,
I will never be one of the happy people,
I will never be alive,
I will never feel acceptable by society.