Memories

I remember every night I spent with you.
My softness and fragility shocking in comparison to your hardness.
Was I always too much for you to handle?
You never wanted to feel like you did,
never wanted to become the caretaker for such a weak girl,
who was so caught up in the fantasy of unconditional love,
she couldn't hear your footsteps fading behind her.
I always thought you were right beside me,
until I looked up bravely and saw you had disappeared.
I tried to put on a happy face, I tried to be confident again,
but the confidence was replaced with anxiety,
the bravery replaced with tears.
I cried a whole ocean for you, and gave it your name,
and I float listlessly along, trying so hard to smile.