The Feeling

Do you know the feeling
when you're so tired but you dont want to sleep
you're emotionally exhausted
and everything you have is telling you
to sleep
yet you want to stay awake
want to keep doing
something
anything
you dont want to miss those hours
dont want to turn the lights out because
you know that once you do
all the thoughts will come back
your mind will be racing
and you dont want that
no one wants that
your eyelids heavy
your limbs weak
but sleep scares you
when you close your eyes
it all comes back
the panic comes back
the hurt and loss and shame
all come back
its inevitable though
you're going to have to sleep sometime
i know you know the feeling