As Long as You're Okay

Please excuse me
as i trample your heart

using pointy heels
would have been more
bloody & messy
than these running shoes --

meant for running,
not killing.

I did run,
didn't I?

Your body was my course,
the knife of a heel would have been
more humaine
than the dull thudding
stomping
crushing
breaking

of these feet
that were never meant to be
weapons.

I couldn't bring myself to cut you
because I was a coward -

Why did I not
finish you off
with a simple stab to the jugular?

i was too messy and jumbled inside
Tangled and knotted like a barbed wire fence

So you cut instead,
the slice was clean and perfect and precise --

And I'm glad you did.

Because I would never have
been able to do it.

I trampled the flesh - that was the easy part,
but you cut the nerves and the heart,

no more ties

no more mess

but I think you forgot one nerve -
(I think it's untouchable,
these memories,
locked inside... )

This nerve pulls and stings with pain

I think I'll always be a mess inside -

But as long as your clean cut wound fades with time,

I'll be okay.