Please Understand

You don't know how much I want to tell you
My little secret
About how much I want to die
How much I just want to leave it

Every night after my bed time prayers
I think about how I want to end my life
Should I fire the gun
Or use my knife

I want to tell you
But you might think 
That I'm a spoiled little brat 
Who just wants the attention

Why can't it be easier
Why can't I know for sure
That you will be by my side
And not turn me in??

I don't need there help I just need a friend
To tall to
To help pull me through
To keep me on this side

I do it because the emptiness becomes to much
No feelings just air
Or I have so much pain 
That I just have to let it out

But how do I tell you
I just need you to know
Because I can't hold out much longer 
I just can't stand on my own