Pain

Why does it have to happen this way again
I thought we were through thsi maze already
But I guess I was wrong
Once again becuase
I am standing here all alone
Out in the cold fresh air

Wondering what I had done wrong
Why now
Why me
Why happen like this

I thought you were over this
I thought we could move on again with life
Yet that was a huge mistake
For you proved to me
You don't care about anybody
but yourself

What happen this time to make you tick
I thought everything was going alright
but the police came flying down the street
and I knew taht nothing would be the same

If it happened then why do I feel like crap
Why can't I protect my family
I thought I could protect you fro anything
You throw that back in my face and just laugted

Why do you do this
Does it make you happy to see this family torn apart
Does it even matter to you
What happens to us after you are taken away

Doest it even matter to you
that I cry myself to sleep because I don't know what to do
I thought that monster was behind me
For once I was abused by our father
I thought that i never have to deal with that again

But I was wrong because of you
are turning out to be like him
You may not be abusing us yet
Nevertheless you have the same rage that he does
What can I do to make you see
that you are hurting us
maybe not physically
But mentally you are doing a lot of damage

I can no longer sit back and watch you
Destory this family
What can I do to stop this
All I ever want was to know what
It was like to have no abuse
to know what it was like to live
in peace with those around you
but i guess taht was to much to ask for

I thought I had protected your mind and soul
from the abuse father gave us
I thought my "Winter" story would never come true
but already half of it has come true

What at I suppose to do with everythign that is going on
How am I suppose to deal with what you are putting us through
Don't you know we can't do this anymore
Don't you know I am already thinking aobut moving out
Just because I can't hand this anymore
Why do you keep putting us through this
don't you think we have been put through enough as a family

Yet it seems to me that you don't care
for you put us through more
can't you see that you are killing me
my heart, my love, and most of all my sanity
does any of that matter to you?

I honest don't knwo if that matters
because you are doing a good job at
making sure there is no way for me to come back
you are pushing me to the edge of darkness
to my breaking point of no return
how am I suppose to do this all on my own
I can't do this anymore

Please all I ask in return from all this pain
is that you let the family go and try
to fix the damage you have made
is that really to much to ask from you
is that to much to want to happen

I know it will take you a longer time to process through everything then it does me
but why do you keep going down this road
that I have tried so hard to make sure that you never went down
do you even care what I think
or even feel for yourself
or si this just all a game to you?

For the rest of us all it is not a game
but a pain
to watch you fall and not be able to turn it around on your own
can't you see how much pain we go through
Why don't you try and figure your life out
let those around you help you
for you have proven to everyone that you need help

Please find at least one person you can trust
and allow them to help you
before it is to late