Seperate Hearts
Surreal and dream like
This was the first thing expected
And the last thing wanted
Rising above my nightmares
i find endless amounts of realization and fear
build up in the tension filled air
Echoing silent words on their own
For once my words will only harm
i aim to please everyone else
when all i truly want is one moment for myself
shaken and torn between love
i thought us to be unbelieving, out of danger and free
but somehow the hurt found its way to me
getting it's wanted point of view
i hope there truly was nothing else we could do
there's too many perspectives to see
too many changes closing in on me
my breath fell short, my dreams cut lose
now all there's left is a distorted image of you
thinking you're not to be somewhat blamed
and that you can never be tamed
proves just how much things really did need to be rearranged
You started a war without thinking
believing it can all be solved with a little drinking
but can you feel our lives shaking?
Our hearts finally breaking?
I find myself unable to think
can't sleep
can barely breathe
caught up in your madness
i am left vulnerable and defeated
i guess there's no use in believing
frantically searching for a way out
i feel as if i am knocking on all of your doors
only to find them locked closed and absent
so for once i only ask of you to hold me
keep me safe, shielded and warm
when everything else is suddenly gone
This was the first thing expected
And the last thing wanted
Rising above my nightmares
i find endless amounts of realization and fear
build up in the tension filled air
Echoing silent words on their own
For once my words will only harm
i aim to please everyone else
when all i truly want is one moment for myself
shaken and torn between love
i thought us to be unbelieving, out of danger and free
but somehow the hurt found its way to me
getting it's wanted point of view
i hope there truly was nothing else we could do
there's too many perspectives to see
too many changes closing in on me
my breath fell short, my dreams cut lose
now all there's left is a distorted image of you
thinking you're not to be somewhat blamed
and that you can never be tamed
proves just how much things really did need to be rearranged
You started a war without thinking
believing it can all be solved with a little drinking
but can you feel our lives shaking?
Our hearts finally breaking?
I find myself unable to think
can't sleep
can barely breathe
caught up in your madness
i am left vulnerable and defeated
i guess there's no use in believing
frantically searching for a way out
i feel as if i am knocking on all of your doors
only to find them locked closed and absent
so for once i only ask of you to hold me
keep me safe, shielded and warm
when everything else is suddenly gone
♠ ♠ ♠
My previous foster parents that i lived with for thirteen years are getting a divorce. my whole life just went down the drain. i have gone through so much pain and misery when it comes to family already, and now this. i can't deal, i can't do anything. it's like I'm dying, everything seems so unreal, like this could never happen to us. i've got so much family spread out across hundreds of miles already, and i really cant survive another loss of contact. i've got so many fears, so many thoughts i can barely get them out. what's gonna happen to them, to me? will it ever be the same? they where my rock despite how much they've hurt me in the past. no matter how bad things were their door was always open. now i can't even find that door, let alone step inside. you know, my foster dad was always there to save the day, to hold it all together, but two days ago when i got the news he said "don't worry, who's always got everything under control? i have. this time is no different" that was the first time that sentence didn't calm me, didn't make me feel safe. i didn't believe him. i lost him. i lost them. i just want them to be alright. i want to be able to come home every once in a while and see that everything is still the same. i want to feel as if i've got a family. i don't want this. why wont it stop? i can't breathe, i can't containe it. i feel so trapped between them, when they wan't me to take sides. i love them, why can't that be enough. i honestly dont care who caused this, i just want my mom and dad back.