I'm Not Sure Yet

I don't know what to think
At times I like this and don't want to blink
Other times I despise it and am very afraid
In my head, those times, I don't want replayed

I learn new things everyday
I can't be normal I can't be okay
I just don't know how to take it yet
Sometimes I wish that I could just forget

I don't know what to expect with this life
I always wonder if I should go grab a knife
I never know if I'm in danger
With all the fear comes depression and anger

Somethings I think are cool
Until I learn all the dangers and every rule
I'm still not sure if I like this yet
Is it worth the anger? Is it worth the sweat?

Having these abilities has its ups and downs
Like seeing scared little girls in long white gowns
Some people think its cool, and sometimes I agree
But other times it gets so bad that I wish I could just flee

Don't wish for this life not all can handle it
There's so much you can't know, and so much you don't get
If you were in my shoes you would be just like me
You may like it now, but just wait and see...