Turn Me Around

And I'm this fucking close
so close to spilling my guts
scream everything that's pressing down on my lungs
choking on every betraying honest word
trying to pass my closely sealed lips

watch me, I'm the mental breakdown
on you're TV always looking so pathetic
I know what you don’t
and have the power in my mind
to change your love to hate

I get weaker than the expectations
playing out behind your hopeful eyes
I have no need to be your life
but a burning passion to prove them wrong
whenever they laugh openly too my face

this new desire to explain
twist and turn something pure
to the point of flames eating it away
because destruction takes over everything
until there’s only coldness left

I've got my new perspective
my hopes dreams and spark
but no space and time to let it go
ticking away getting closer and closer
I save nothing but survive everything

sickness consuming me
crawling under my skin
clouding over my eyes
until i cant see nothing right
from the glassy look, the poison in me

a quiet mess unfolding on closely watched monitors
I only know the road to hell
with no exit to a fairytale story
we watch the prison gates close before me
when safety is number one priority

a pressure to create
forcing everything from nothing
because the wires creeping up on me
brings the promise of hanging me
from the failures inside my haven

vivid colours outside my walls
building up a need to escape
from my narrow minded mistakes
in a narrow minded world
that may very well be right?

Doubt me, cause that's how my fire burns
all I see is white and black
whenever i forget my purple shades of hope
I'd rather let go of reality
than hold on to these lies for much longer

knowing something or someone is wrong
I do nothing but stare when you stare back
powerless in my fears, but strong in my pretence
I search for the truth that never seems to be here
For now, the lies cant get me further in this web

walking endlessly in my mind
turning over rocks to find anything
indicating life that could hold me here
keep me grounded because im far off
in a land of silent speaking from the heart

sculptures and paintings
documenting and proving activity
when its really nothing more than a reflection
of the flaws from the times they was accepted
Pretty please cause that always works
I beg for you to hold on
when i am so far gone im barely visible