Scared

I’m scared Simple as that
Scared you’ll leave
That you won’t want me anymore
That you don’t really care, or that you never really did
Scared that all I hear is lies
With you saying things that I want to hear
That your going to use me
I’m scared if I cry over you
That you’ll laugh
That you wouldn’t stick around
That you wouldn’t hold me
I’m scared that if I’m myself
You wouldn’t be here
You want me to change
I’m mostly scared that
I’m not good enough for you
That you’ll see others behind my back
That you’ll deny me in front of others
That you never really cared not even a little
I think its safe to say this
I’m scared that if I fall for you I might love you
If I love you then I would trust you
If I trust you I would end up broken
I’m scared that your to good to be true
But I guess its already to late for that
I fell for you
I loved you
I trusted you
I got hurt by you
And I know that I’m not good enough for you
Wasn’t then
Not even now
And probably never going to be
I’m ready for the pain to be gone
I’m ready to be numb
Not to feel anything at all
So this is what I leave you with
Thanks for breaking me for the worse

Lexi h. hoeft

8-28-12