Everyday This Is I

Ever had those moments where you want to shed some tears
Just for the sake of finally releasing what you've felt inside
All this time, for so many years
The secrets from everyone you try to hide
If you're like me, you hate to wake from dreams
So real, to the touch, so vivid, you wonder what it all means
The sunlight continues to beam
Beam in scenes so serene
You embrace it all with a smile with the world forever seen
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Young little boy with dreams
I swear they were great fucking dreams
Bright smiles that peered through dark souls and and beamed
Life, not by his own will plunged distress, turmoil, and darkness into his happy scenes
He understood more than his brothers
Understood more than what his parents expected
He remembers the night when it all started
When the world rejected
Certain tears wish to fall because his family was selected
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As you can see I'm struggling with what to write because I'm not sure what I want to tell you, it has been a while since I wrote a poem, so here goes magic number 3..hey, I just had a nice idea, lets combine to two!? This is what I do when I write sometimes, normally I wouldn't show how I come up with my poems but hey, why not right? ^_^

Ever had those moments where you want to shed some tears
Just for the sake of finally releasing what you've felt inside
All this time, for so many years
The secrets from everyone you try to hide
If you're like me, you hate to wake from dreams
So real, to the touch, so vivid, you wonder what it all means
The sunlight continues to beam
Beam in scenes so serene
You embrace it all with a smile with the world forever seen
Young little boy with dreams
I swear they were great fucking dreams
Bright smiles that peered through dark souls and and beamed
Life, not by his own will plunged distress, turmoil, and darkness into his happy scenes
He understood more than his brothers
Understood more than what his parents expected
He remembers the night when it all started
When the world rejected
Certain tears wish to fall because his family was selected
It was dark, the rain poured down
Locked out one's own house but why would the keys not work?
Mommy makes a phone call and he sits on the porch listening to all of the sounds
The rain pours down heavily, all around
Hours pass by and Daddy's home
The boy is happy, his brothers are happy but he cannot remember Mommy's reaction
Daddy was, as some would say his superhero, he would take action
But on that night they turned from home and never went back
He peered out the rear window and watched as they drove off, untold of the cold hard facts
The thoughts that went through his mind cannot be found as all he did was sleep
As time goes by life gets no better, sadness digs deep
They pass through homes as samurais do villages
So were they truly homes if they could not keep?
Friends, what were they? For friends he had to seek
Time after time they were lost in shuffle
This boy has nothing else but good grades on his papers
So this boy found a friend, a girl, at first meeting she ran and vanished like vapor
Time goes by, a bond strengthens
Their homes are the same, something I thought I should mention
The best of friends always playing together
In any kind of weather
Even when the parents tried to separate them, never did their bond sever
Never did he think that she would throw away their friendship, he surely did think it would last forever
This boy was a loner of the mind, none understood, his bothers could not relate in any way, shape, or form
Never the popular kid of the crowd, always made fun of, the girls showed no interest
No choice but to have his head in books, they kept his heart warm
He tried to be all he could for society to accept him but he consistently failed
He wanted to be like the protagonist who always prevailed, but he could not
So young he was forced to realize life was far from the stories he read
Anger usually seen as red came across his mind but it mostly turned into sorrow
He wondered what was real about all he ever knew in all the years of life he's borrowed
He wondered what awaited to greet him tomorrow and tomorrow's tomorrow
He wondered why as a boy he wasn't supposed to cry, even in silence, as if he ever could
He wondered why he couldn't just shed one tear for himself
Every time it rains, like it did that night, he thinks about it all, everything
He thinks about the friends
He thinks about his Mommy and Daddy
he thinks about his homes
He thinks about the reasons all those kids did not like him
He thinks about why "he" was chosen to be who he was/is
He thinks about why he cannot have "that" girl whom wants but does not need
He thinks about what he could do to make his life better with every waking moment
But what he hates to think about is "everything"