Soul Trip

You ever felt like home wasn't the place you wanted to be?
No one to understand the pain you hold inside because they just can't see?
Ever wanted to walk out into the rain at night and just weep?
Ever thought of closing your eyes one last time and never waking from your sleep?
That might have been you but it sure as hell was me
I found comfort in books because the characters I wanted to be
You ever been the ugly kid in school?
Ever been the kid that always felt like the fool?
Ever felt like you had too many responsibilities?
Well I always wondered why I could never find tranquility
Everyday I wake and wonder how I got through the last day and yesterday's yesterday
I hope with every fiber of my being that my future is a good one, every single day
I know there are others out there with troubles much worse
Still, it doesn't take away from the fact that this feels like a curse
I wonder if my whole life is my fault
They say happiness is locked within but I don't think I was ever given the key to that vault
I am an agnostic believer and yet I always hope that there is a God that likes me
My faith constantly moves, proof alludes, it's like a fucking ruse and I just want to be free
Home, home is not the place I want to be
With you, you, it's okay if you're not sure who, I know who and it's with you, I want to be
Wouldn't that be a crazy fucking day if that were to ever happen?
Time to be a fucking man and take action
Patience is a virtue Bitch so don't expect quick satisfaction
I know all too well, different people, different types, same results and the same reaction
This man right here is a sad soul
He knows constantly he is the reason that little tiny pieces are chipped from the whole
He would commit to something of minimal chance
But that chance means more to me than most other souls and I am prepared to take that dance
Home, home, is not the place I want to be
It sucks all the positive energy out, of, me
Ever had to do homework with no lights?
Ever had days with just a single meal in sight?
I'm not asking for your pity, it's just a fucking question
Believe me to a bitch? pathetic man? well you can surely turn the fuck around, a mere suggestion
I want the simple things in life
Good living, house, career, close friends, kids, and wife
This guy right here seems to be somewhat crazy
He might just achieve these dreams and more if he just weren't so lazy
Lately it's all been getting to me, specifically more and more as the days go by
I continue to ask why, why is it like this and why am I like this
I express too much to my friends and the world, that might just be it, the ironic twist
Keep to self, keep to self, keep to self, but what do I gain if I keep to self
I can protect my emotions from harm by anyone else
Yes, yes, that's very true, and I would rarely ever ask for help
But then I would be even lonelier than I am now in poverty and wealth
Sometimes I don't know how to end
So I say I will end where it all begins
Re-read, journey again, transcend and then descend
You can always ask me if I was ever really happy
And for now I will always say, I'm just not sure when
This is why I write with the pen, it's like my only friend