The Art of Self Deafication

you can ask me if i'm waiting,
i won't give you any reasons.
if it's over then it's over
but i'm still waiting
for that shoulder...
but you're gone and i'm leaving.
waiting, but still moving.
i can't stop drinking,fucking,sleeping.
oh god, i can't stop moaning.
will you find me if you want to?
will you ever really want to?
i can't close my eyes without
thinking you'll be there when they open.
can't breathe without choking
on every year that i have gone through
and all the ones i have ahead
i'll be drinking myself happy
or at least it'll seem that way
when i'm dead.

so go on..

move on if you're not happy,
don't find questions you "have to ask" me
i'll be deafening my hearing
with all this music i play so loudly.